Why Don't I Get Back Up? |
Posted: October 16, 2016 |
Why Don't I Get Back Up?
I stay down -"at the bottom" - because my mind is telling me that I can't handle one more punch, one more disappointment.
When I'm strong, I get nailed. Stay down, girl and stay safe.
There I stay, paralyzed with the pain of the past and the fear of the future...so I remain down crying, begging, and pleading for my prayers to be delivered because I've already BEEN THRU SO MUCH.
Yeah. THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP.
Truth? I want to feel bad.
I get to choose and I choose feeling bad. There. I said it.
See, when I feel bad:
-I get to blame you,
-I don't need to defend my dysfunctional choices and
-I don't need to take responsibility for what I'm doing now.
Score!
Getting better means you get what YOU want. You screwed me and you get away with it.
I WANT SOMEONE TO PAY, BECAUSE IT WASN'T MY FAULT, DAMMIT.
I WANT TO BE RIGHT AND MY PAIN PROVES I'M RIGHT.
Am I really angry? Am I scared? Am I resisting change?
Is it easier to blame, hate or basically focus on others rather than take responsibility now?
Yes...
because my brain is imprinted to focus externally rather than internally
to act from learned fears and limitations rather than my truth
to stay in the known
to do whatever to "protect"
The SOLUTION:
1. Release the pain and fear by reframing it through retraining your brain.
2. Feel the fear, the limitation, but don't act from it.
3. Retrain your brain to take another path than your old default behavior.
4. STOP expecting to get results from others, and start taking responsibility for your behavior and beliefs.
5. STOP focusing on the limits and start focusing on the possibilities.
In a nutshell: Do you want to be right or be happy?
God grant me....
serenity to accept what I cannot change,
courage to change what I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
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